Arlie Articulates

[Arlie Shaban]

After seeing my score in HOH, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment. Well, disappointment and anger at myself for not fully studying as well as I thought I did and letting my nerves get the better of me. I know that for this round, HOH is pretty much "just Immunity until the Final 3" since the nominations barely matter and only one person gets to vote, but it's that guarantee of Final 3 I really really wanted. I'm at the Final 4 now, and that's kind of like been the cutoff point for me in the series. I've been at 4th and just never seemed to be able to get that spot in the Final 2, or even in the Final 3. This whole game I've been trying to not let my past biases or pre-conceived notions cloud my judgement or negatively impact me. On top of that, I've been busting my butt really hard to try and finally find a way into that finale to prove to myself that I can do it.

As a result, I've over-stressed myself, over-thought things, and lashed out at the wrong times at people I shouldn't have all because I'm just so determined to break this funk and get all the way to the end. I'm a competitive guy, and because of that, I really hate losing. The idea of continually coming up short and being on the block (for no apparent or rational reason I'm aware of) each round just really gets to me. I always expect the best of myself, so while coming in I thought I probably wouldn't win any comps I figured I'd very likely be able to get like 2 HOHs and 2 POVs or something to that effect. That's just something I look at and think should be attainable.

Regardless of how many comps I've won, or if I win this POV or whatever though, I have to find a way to the Final 3 from here and into a seat at the Final 2. I just can't let all the hard work and effort I've put into this go to waste and have it be for nothing. Forget that pretty much the whole as a whole now happen to have Final 2 deals with everyone left, there has to be a way and a means of me making it through these next 2 rounds. I just have to find it, and I'm not going to give up until I do.

[Arlie Shaban]

So, the worst case scenario happened and it's come down to this. Steve won it and I now have to convince him to keep me over Kelsey. I've had a bad feeling on him if he got in this position for a while now, but there's no avoiding it. I almost want to feel like "even if I make it through this, Steve will win Part 1 of the Final HOH, Shelli will win Part 2, and they'll both take each other", but I can't think like that. I don't want this to be the end of me in this game, not after all the time and effort I've put into it to get this far. Part of me almost feels like this is just my last chance overall, and I can't just go wasting it, I won't. There has to be something I can do, and something I can say to Steve to convince him that keeping me over Kelsey. Even as I type this, I'm talking to Steve and thinking up scenario after scenario, and different angles to take in order to make him see things my way.

I'm not ready for my game to end now, and the worst part is that if it does, I have nobody to blame but myself. If this is my last round in the game, then it's because I can't make a good enough pitch to Steve to take me to the Final 3. And more than that, it'll be because something in my approach about it turned him off of the idea. Hell, if this winds up being my last shot here, then I have nobody else to blame for that but myself. Just me, my attitude getting the best of me at times, my mind messing with me so I make myself choke on clutch competitions...and my competitive nature making me come across as a sore loser. That's why, no matter what happens or goes on, I'm not going to give up or stop fighting until the results get posted. There has to be a chance for me to make it through this, and there has to be an opportunity for me to survive.

I can start hoping the gods make things work out, but they can't help me. This is something I've got to do myself, and as a quote goes...."Not even Jupiter can find a lost opportunity".

This is it. Right here. Right now. It's all or nothing.

[Arlie Shaban]

Well, thus ends my journey here. In true me fashion, I just had to go on twice as long as I should have with my exit speech, and now I suppose I come across as that sore loser I was hoping not to be. I didn't break my barrier this time, but I tried...believe me, I tried. I want to thank Kat and the other hosts for not just giving me another chance, but for putting up with me and all of my rants and outbursts throughout the game. It's been real, it's been fun, and it's been real fun. I just wish I could have clutched things out a bit in the last couple of rounds and been a bit more convincing.

So, I guess this is it for me for now. I'm looking forward to seeing how the rest of things pan out.

[Arlie Shaban]

It's not really related to the ongoing game presently, but I'm actually surprised at how comparatively pleasant the Jury stuff was. I half expected them to all be talking to each other about how much they hated me.

And because I figure Kat will appreciate this, at work tonight, the cook and servers randomly broke out singing "Hit Me Baby, One More Time". Like...all of it.

[Kat]

I prefer these gifs

[Arlie Shaban]

I love how neither of us thought to use Lincoln or Octavia ones, lol. But I thought for sure you'd include a Kane or Abby one.

[Kat]

im a tween

[nicole]

Kabby 

[Arlie Shaban]

I'll say Memori just to be different. Or hell, Clurphy. Because why the hell not?

[Kat]

[nicole]

who is memori



^Kat's favorite moment

[boog]

clarke sucks

[Kat]

Aug 5, 2016 19:02:21 GMT boog said:

clarke sucks

[Arlie Shaban]